🪦☃️ DON'T GIFT PATREON ☃️🪦

REGARDING THIS "WEBSITE"

Dear Patreon,

I am jolly, i like peace. I like lists. things i invented: overnight delivery, joy, living off grid. i built this from nothing, i do this for free. I MADE this website

For 100s of years i am santa. It's simple, we have a system. Patreon, you are 12, you think you can do MY job? leave the gifting to me, why risk it, you have ur hole life ahead of you. Remember: Ur not the first to mess with christmas. Dot com bubble? Popped. Malls? Leveled. DTC beds? Sleeping with fishes. Would be a real shame if something happen to your little webpage. i'm asking real nice, leave gifting to me. EMAILS dont below under trees!!!

You computer hippies think you can get people to gift your pondcasts, gift your arty creator crap? then you got another thing coming, you and your 300000 creators, all OF YOU! you know how i see you when you're sleeping, i see you when you're awake? that's because I KNOW where you LIVE. im watching your "website" too so if you think your going to be sneaky just know my elves are EVERYWHERE, lots of them. (if ur not patreon do NOT go to this link or else you'll be on MY LIST too and you don't want that)

Watch your back PATREON, stay out of my turf

you have been WARNED